I’m tired and want to pick you up again.

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Buffalo Travel 2021. This is a 50’s Janzen swimsuit I found in the basement of an antique mall for $5.

I used to type “b” into the browser address field, which would bring up the blogger homepage, where I stubbornly host this entry. Because in my mind I’m still 15 and it’s 2009 and I’m hanging around the attic with the hot lights on for some stupid reason pretending I know how to take pictures and set up a camera. Instead, I check in with myself and realize that outside my window are no longer the streets of Buffalo, New York. It smells like a fireplace and crisp, cold air. My world is not as small, hopeful or romantic as it was when I was a teenager. This happens to everyone, but now I’m writing about it.

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Haha but I miss her.
2009, Buffalo

I am now 30 years old. I turned 30 this year.

I am living a life that I had no idea how I would land when I was a teenager. I pay my bills, do more than I could ever understand as a child, and it humbles me every week (an understatement). I constantly question myself and am just as harsh on myself now as I was when I looked down the barrel to take the Regents exam. I wonder if just making money is satisfying enough. I have a family member who has passed away now. A person who thought he would live forever. 


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My boyfriend Jevins and I were having a discussion in front of Fragonard’s “The Meeting” at The Frick last year. I was laid off in early March 2021 when my company downsized and, in hindsight, lost my job. Even though I had some job fears, I think I was happier then in some ways than I am now because I had a break.

I’m now a dime a dozen, and I guess that’s a relief in itself.

Here is my check-in:

• I work in technology

• I am naive but creative.

• Satisfied with our sense of purpose and ‘fit’, but lost.

Still, I like trying to understand style wherever I can, and I like talking to people about why they want to present themselves a certain way. what do i like What Omondi doesHer work is the closest thing to the feeling you can get from seeing someone share a new blog post.

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Another one of the many thrift stores I’ve found.

Instagram sucks and I hate TikTok. Because even though you’re constantly scrolling through Tumblr and Pinterest, you can still fall into a hole and comfortably remain a dinosaur of Internet life. I miss magazines. I miss the feeling of waiting. I waited. For those of you who are still reading this and have been waiting, welcome back. I hope I can satisfy something within us.