As a high school student and for most of my adult life, I thought college was simply the next step. Most of my education focused on preparing for college, getting good grades, and following the same path that everyone around me seemed to follow. Looking back, I never stopped to ask whether college was the right choice for me.
Now, as a mother of children facing this same decision, I find myself asking a very different question. This isn’t about being anti-university, it’s about challenging assumptions and exploring alternatives. It’s about helping our children make intentional choices rather than simply following the default path.
The world has changed dramatically, and the conversation about higher education needs to be looked at through a new lens.
That’s why I started asking the question: Is college worth it?
Like everything in life, my perspective on college is shaped by my experiences. I attended a highly respected university with a full scholarship and stipend. But most college students today are in debt (sometimes a lot of debt!). But even though I was able to attend college for essentially free, I ended up leaving.
I started asking deeper questions about education, work, and what success really looks like. I’ve come to realize that I no longer agree with many of the assumptions that led me there in the first place. The experience was a valuable life lesson. Sometimes the most valuable question is not, “How can I succeed on this path?” Rather, “Is this the right path from the beginning?”
I don’t claim to have all the answers. Actually, I think the older I get, the more questions I have. But our children deserve the opportunity to ask those questions before they invest years of their lives and take on potentially life-changing debt.
The university landscape has changed
One of the reasons this conversation feels so important is that the world looks so different now. The computer age has evolved into the age of artificial intelligence, which is changing the landscape of future (and current) jobs.
And sadly, student loan debt has exploded. Millions of people have been taking out loans for decades, and many of them discover (too late) that student loans work differently than other forms of debt. I personally know people who have already paid back more than they originally borrowed, but still owe a significant balance due to interest. Overall, the U.S. has more than $1.6 trillion in student loan debt.
At the same time, there are fewer jobs that require a traditional degree than you might think. Although some jobs require specialized training and licensing, many employers are eliminating degree requirements. Instead, there is a greater focus on demonstrating skills, experience, certifications, and competencies.
There are also further opportunities through entrepreneurship, apprenticeships, trade careers, certifications and digital skills development. Many of these paths require less time and money, and allow people to make money much faster.
That doesn’t mean college has no meaning at all. This simply means that college is no longer the obvious answer for everyone.
Emotional aspects of decisions
Parents often approach this conversation with love and concern. We want our children to be safe, successful, and have opportunities we don’t have. Many of us have been taught that a college degree is the golden ticket to all three.
That’s why college topics can be emotionally charged. There is often a fear that if our children choose a different path, they will fall behind, miss out on opportunities, or somehow fail. Then there is social pressure. Parents naturally feel proud when their child enters a prestigious university. And society still tends to view college admission as a marker of success.
But I wondered if college admission was actually a meaningful measure of my success as a parent or my child’s future happiness.
What most of us really want isn’t a degree hanging on the wall. We want our children to be successful and live lives they love. We want them to have freedom, purpose, meaningful relationships, financial security, and the ability to contribute something of value to the world.
But is college always the most effective way to achieve this in today’s world?
a costly delay
One thought that has stayed with me is that college sometimes functions as a means to postpone decisions rather than a destination. Many teens graduate from high school unsure of who they are, what they want, and what they want their lives to look like. Let’s be honest, many adults still struggle with those questions.
I know I certainly did. When I was 18, I hoped college would help me find my purpose, but it didn’t. That doesn’t mean college doesn’t help people find their direction. But it’s worth asking whether spending tens or even hundreds of thousands of dollars is the best way to find the answer.
For many students, college becomes a way to put off difficult questions.
- What kind of life do I want?
- What types of things excite me?
- What values are most important to me?
- What special talents do I have that I can contribute?
This is an important question and deserves attention. If your main reason for attending college is to avoid having to answer for the next four years, it might be worth taking an honest look at.
One of the strongest arguments for college is community. This is understandable. Teens naturally crave connection, belonging, friendship, and shared experiences. In fact, these needs are developmentally appropriate and very important.
When I was young, one of the biggest attractions of college was the idea of being able to continue life with friends. The social aspect was much more appealing than sitting in a classroom. But I started asking other questions. Is college the only (or best) way to build meaningful community?
Universities create an artificial environment where thousands of people of similar age, experience, and life stage spend time together. It may be exciting, but it’s very different from most adult lifestyles.
Real-world communities are usually more diverse. This includes people of different ages, backgrounds, occupations, experiences and perspectives. They are often formed around shared values, common goals, service, faith, work, hobbies, or mutual interests.
The longest-lasting relationships in my life were not based on sharing a campus. It is built around shared values and meaningful life experiences. Community is very important, but I don’t think universities have a monopoly on it.
Alternatives Many Teens Have Never Heard of
One of the things I wish I had known as a teenager was that there were other options. Growing up, I viewed college as a compulsory course, like Year 13. Other options weren’t even on my radar. I think young people today deserve a much broader picture.
Trading is one example. Changing workforce demographics and labor shortages are creating tremendous demand for many skilled occupations. Skilled technicians and other professionals often enjoy strong job security, good earnings, and significantly less long-term education debt.
Apprenticeships offer another path. Instead of paying to learn, students can often earn money while they learn. Internships and volunteer opportunities can also create valuable career connections. Many people discover a career they love through real-world experience rather than sitting in a classroom.
Travel can also be an amazing teacher. Exposure to different cultures, lifestyles, and perspectives often provides an education that no textbook can replicate. More and more teens are taking a “gap year” to travel and discover what they want from their future.
Certification provides another option. Depending on a student’s interests, earning certifications in fields such as fitness, technology, design, project management, or skilled trades can lead directly to meaningful work. One of my children really enjoys working out and is currently looking into becoming a personal trainer. This may be a faster route and may even rival the salary of a college degree.
The goal is not to convince every young person to avoid college, but to realize that there are other options.
The Financial Realities of Student Loans
This is where the conversation gets serious for me. If there is one area I feel particularly strongly about, it is student loans. Over the past 10 years I’ve been deliberately trying to let go of my strong opinions about things, but this is actually one area where I’ve become stronger.
Teens are often asked to pay rent, manage a household budget, or sign financial contracts involving tens of thousands of dollars before they can experience the financial responsibilities of adults.
That’s what I’m worried about. It’s no surprise that many young people are focused on the promise of future income. What they often don’t fully understand is how interest rates, repayment schedules, and debt obligations can shape their choices for decades.
Debt affects more than just your finances. This impacts career decisions, housing options, family planning, entrepreneurial opportunities, and overall freedom. Meanwhile, people who enter the workforce earlier can start earning and investing years before traditional college graduates enter full-time employment.
The year is important because compound interest works both ways. Debt is complex, but so are investments, savings, skills and experience. That’s why I believe every family should carefully examine the true financial costs of higher education before making a decision.
What about sports?
Sports adds another layer to this conversation. Many young athletes are told that college is the primary way to continue their athletic careers. Depending on the sport, sometimes that may be true, but it’s still worth asking.
If your goal is to play sports at the college level, college definitely makes sense. However, if your goal is long-term athletic development, professional competition, or simply staying active in your sport, there may be other paths worth exploring. Examples include individual coaching, club teams, travel competitions, independent training, and professional development programs. This can provide opportunities outside of the traditional university system.
As a parent, I want my kids to understand all their options before making an important commitment. And whatever they choose, I hope that their choice is made with thoughtful consideration and not mere assumption.
Questions I want my children to ask
As my children grow into adults, I am trying more to encourage good questions rather than trying to give them answers. This is a question I wanted to pause and ask myself before choosing a college. These are the questions I like to ask my children as they make decisions.
Questions like:
- What kind of life do you want at 25, 30, and 40?
- How important is the idea of starting a family, and at what age do you think people will accept it?
- What kind of schedule and flow (not just work) do you want as an adult?
- What does success feel like to you?
- How important is financial freedom?
- What skills do you want to develop?
- What type of work truly excites you?
- What kind of people do you want around you?
- What lifestyle do you want to create?
- What if you didn’t need a degree to do what you love?
I also encourage them to think beyond their careers. I want them to consider relationships, family, purpose, contribution, community, and the kind of person they want to be. Ultimately, life is much more important than your job title.
Is College Worth It?: Final Thoughts
This conversation is really about agency and helping our children realize that they have choices. It’s about empowering you to make intentional decisions rather than simply following the path expected of others. College can be an absolutely valuable option in certain situations. But that is no longer the only path to a meaningful and successful life. And I would argue that in many cases it is no longer the best path.
My goal as a parent is not to make choices for my children. My goal is to support them, help them ask better questions, and trust them to find their own path. Whether that path involves college, trade, entrepreneurship, travel, apprenticeship, athletics, or something completely different.
I want them to move forward with clarity, confidence, and freedom. Most of all, I want them to know that no matter what they choose, they will always have my unconditional love and support.
Is your child considering college or working on something else? What kinds of questions do you want to ask when making decisions? Share below!
