This excerpt originally appeared in Pre Shift, a hotel industry newsletter. Subscribe for more first-person accounts, advice, and interviews..
Running an independent bar and restaurant requires a special passion. This is the first of a three-part series in partnership with Verizon Business to share how the people who run our favorite small businesses do it. Join Verizon for Small Business Days February 9-22 and see how they’re sharing the love.
This week we’re featuring how one restaurant couple overcame a tumultuous opening day and what it’s like to run a small business from home with your spouse.
In the final installment of this series, we’ve collected expert tips for effective partnerships (in life and business) from popular restaurants across the country. Read that advice.
The work must be divided
“In a partnership, if two people always agree, they say they don’t need one person. Our advice is to find strength in differences.” —Tiffani Ortiz and Andy Doubrava, chefs catbird sheet in nashville
“(My husband) Ulysses is the one who creates the magic in the kitchen. I am the creative force behind our online presence and the customer experience that keeps people coming back. I don’t pretend to be an expert in cooking or menu decisions, and Ulysses doesn’t get in the way of my vision for how I want Campo to be seen.” —Adriana Alvarez, co-founder the field is coal La Puente, California
Likewise: “(Husband) Michael and I have two children and many compete for our attention, both personally and professionally. We’ve found that everything works best when responsibilities are divided according to strengths. For example, Michael leads the design and creative vision of KNEAD restaurants, while I focus more on operations and execution. This structure and clarity helps us avoid duplication and make efficient decisions, while ultimately allowing us to work together.” —Jason Berry, co-founder Knead Hospitality + Design in Washington DC
“I think the more you avoid looking over your partner’s shoulder and trying to micromanage, the healthier your relationship will be.” —Sam Wood, co-owner adventure time bar in denver
“Our biggest tip is to treat each other as equals. Of course we each have our own strengths, but trusting each other makes everything go smoother and happier than if one person starts to dominate the other.” —Dani Gaede and Rowan Jetté Knox, owners understory in toronto
It may sound cliché, but communication is really important.
“Some things may be difficult to say or hear, but consistent, honest communication keeps everyone on the same page and prevents resentment from building up. Speaking out loud always gets things done, but keeping things to yourself, especially in a work environment, always manifests itself in an unhealthy way.” —ham el-wili, head chef strange joy in new york city
“Humor can fix anything, so we use humor to avoid potential arguments. We also never talk about work in bed. Protecting our home as a safe space for life, not work, is a great way to keep our core friendships and loves alive.” —Sarah Welch, co-owner mink in detroit
On the other hand: “One thing we’ve learned is that it’s not always realistic to say, ‘Don’t talk about business during good times.’ Our work is our lives. It’s what we’re passionate about, what excites us, and is a big part of how we connect with each other. Trying to separate completely can feel forced and, frankly, unnecessary. Instead, the tip we’d like to share is this: Don’t treat each other like business partners, but like partners who just happen to run a business together. Deeper. Use your knowledge of how your partner communicates, what stresses them out, how they receive feedback, and what motivates them to navigate business situations with the same care, empathy, and respect you bring to your relationship.” —Sofía Ostos and Fidel Caballero, owners Corima and absence
“Apologize when you make a mistake. Disagreements and mistakes happen, but how you accept them determines how you grow from them.” —Alex Jump, co-owner peach wrinkle club in denver
“Don’t waste time or energy talking about (problems) that occur less than 3% of the time.” —Kasie Curiel, co-owner Fonda Pina Hospitality in denver
Finally, take a moment
“Book a staycation every month or two. On your days off, go out and eat, treat yourself while supporting the industry. We treat our ‘weekends’ like vacations so we can continue to get to know each other after 17 years together.” —Owners Claire Wadsworth and Nikki Hill girl friend in Flamingo Heights, California
“Before starting Nixta, I told (husband and co-owner) Edgar that a long vacation was a non-negotiable. I’m not talking about a long weekend, I’m talking about a month. So every January, we go abroad somewhere and daydream for a while. Taking this time allows you to really relax, think outside the walls of the company, gain new inspiration and give management a chance to navigate your way without us ‘coming to the rescue’. There is more to life than work. Show your team that there’s a lot there.”—Sara Mardanbigi, co-owner Nixta Taqueria in austin
