Co-sleeping is a topic that has sparked considerable debate among parents, pediatricians, and researchers. Supporters tout benefits such as better sleep for both parents and babies. But concerns about SIDS risks and other safety issues have led others to warn against co-sleeping.
In this post, we will look at current safety guidelines and provide helpful tips for parents considering co-sleeping. Plus I'm going to share what I did when my kids were babies!
What is Co-Sleeping?
Co-sleeping is when a parent shares a sleeping space with their baby or young child. This usually lasts until the first year of life. Many parents decide to share a room for longer.
Some define co-sleeping as sleeping with the baby at arm's length, while others define co-sleeping as sleeping in the same room with the parent. When sharing a room, the baby may sleep next to the parent's bed, or in a bed or crib across the room. Room sharing is quite acceptable for at least the first six months.
But bed sharing is more controversial. Bed sharing literally means sleeping in the same bed as your baby. It's more common than you think. The U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) conducted a survey of caregivers in 2015.
More than half (61%) of the caregivers who responded to the survey said they shared a bed with their child at least some of the time.
Benefits of Co-Sleeping
Co-sleeping can have physical and emotional benefits for both parents and babies.
Increased bond strength
Co-sleeping can strengthen the bond between parent and baby. Closeness increases the opportunities for interactions such as nursing and comforting. Sleeping near a parent at night can also provide a sense of security for the baby. This sense of security can lead to better emotional development and reduced separation anxiety.
Promotes breastfeeding
Co-sleeping makes nighttime breastfeeding more convenient. Mothers may decide to breastfeed longer (6 months or more) because it is easier to catch up each night.
A 1997 study found that infants who shared a bed were breastfed more frequently and for longer periods of time. They breastfed more often and spent three times more hours at night than those who slept separately.
Reduce SIDS Risk
One side benefit is that breastfeeding may reduce the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). A German study found that formula-fed babies not only had an increased risk of SIDS, but the risk was twice that of breast-fed babies.
Sleeping near your parents can also reduce the risk of SIDS. Sleeping close to your baby helps regulate your baby’s breathing and body temperature. Healthy breathing patterns can also reduce the risk of SIDS.
Advantage Byte Development
More convenient breastfeeding can have wider benefits. A 2022 study found that co-sleeping as a baby helped with latch development in early childhood.
Children who had a habit of co-sleeping as babies were less likely to use pacifiers or suck their thumbs. As a result, they were less likely to have overbites, crossbites, or open bites. They had better facial development because of co-sleeping.
Better Sleep for Parents
Having your baby close by can make nighttime care tasks like feeding and comforting easier and faster. As a result, parents can get a restful night’s sleep.
Is it safe to sleep together?
New parents may wonder if sharing a bed is safe. Bed sharing is actually a biological norm and has been common throughout history. Western society has moved away from it for convenience. It can be safe as long as parents follow certain practices.
One such practice is breastfeeding. Breastfed babies have a symbiotic relationship with their mothers and can safely share a bed. However, formula-fed babies are safer in a bed that sleeps on its side or next to its mother.
Dr. James McKenna, director of the Maternal-Infant Sleep Lab at the University of Notre Dame and widely recognized as a leading expert on co-sleeping, explains that there are several reasons why co-sleeping with breastfed babies is not the same as co-sleeping with bottle-fed babies.
“Breastfeeding changes how and where the baby is placed next to the mother, the baby’s arousal patterns, how sensitive the baby and mother are to each other’s movements, sounds, and proximity, and how responsive the baby and mother are to each other’s behavior. Sleep architecture (how much time is spent in the different stages of sleep, and how and when the baby moves from one stage to another) is very different between bottle-feeding and breastfeeding pairs.”
The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) still opposes bed sharing in its updated 2022 guidelines. They warned that bed sharing increases the risk of SIDS. However, SIDS is a bigger concern when sharing a bed with premature and low birth weight babies. Healthy, full-term babies are not at much risk as long as their parents follow safe sleep practices.
Dr. McKenna also looked at research linking SIDS and bed sharing. He says there are many inaccuracies and inconsistencies in the interpretation of co-sleeping and SIDS research findings.
There are always examples of people not following safe bed-sharing practices. But that doesn’t mean no one should do it. And it’s important to note that asphyxiation due to unsafe co-sleeping is not SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome), although the two are often tied together.
Safe Co-Sleeping Practices
Here are some safe bed sharing practices: Keep in mind that this also applies to naps and night sleep.
- It may be safest for a breastfed baby to sleep next to their mother (rather than their father)
- Children under 1 year of age should not sleep with older children.
- Your baby should be placed on a firm sleeping surface (not a waterbed or sofa).
- Make sure there are no holes in the headboard or footboard that could cause your baby to get trapped at night. The mattress should fit snugly against the headboard to ensure your baby’s safe sleep.
- Sheepskin is not a good idea. The same goes for heavy blankets, comforters, and pillows. This may increase the risk of overheating and suffocation. Use a light baby blanket.
- A well-fitting baby sleeping bag can help provide your baby with separate bedding to help prevent suffocation.
- Remove any strangulation hazards, such as jewelry, pacifier clips, or teething necklaces.
- Some parents decide to use a bassinet next to the bed to keep their sleeping baby close by while giving the baby his or her own space.
The UK’s Lullaby Trust has also produced a guide to safe mattress and bedding options for co-sleeping. They emphasize using a firm, flat mattress and avoiding soft or bulky bedding.
How about teaching independence?
Some parents may be concerned that their child will never get out of bed. However, many of the ideas in baby sleep training apply here. A good way to start is to gradually transition your baby to his or her own sleep space. Start with a few minutes in your baby’s crib or bassinet. Then gradually increase the amount of time your baby sleeps alone.
Be responsive to your baby's needs during the transition period. Comfort your baby if he or she is upset, but encourage him or her to go back to sleep in his or her own sleeping space. A favorite blanket or stuffed animal can help your baby soothe themselves and get back to sleep when they wake up during the night.
Another concern is that co-sleeping as babies makes children less independent as they grow older. Fortunately, research shows the opposite: Children who co-sleep as babies are more independent and self-reliant as preschoolers than children who do not co-sleep as babies.
Co-sleeping and bed sharing are common practices around the world. They are not new concepts. You might be surprised at how many world leaders throughout history shared a bed with their mothers as infants.
Everything or nothing
It’s important to remember that it doesn’t have to be “all or nothing.” If your baby sleeps through the night, it may be time to make a gradual effort to move him or her into his or her own room. Parents can utilize co-sleeping as part of baby-led sleep training.
There are times when it is not ideal for a baby to sleep in an adult bed. For example, if a parent has a respiratory illness or the flu, it is best to have the baby sleep alone in a crib or crib. Even nights when one or both parents have been drinking are separate sleep times.
Many parents simply feel uncomfortable sharing a bed. That's totally okay! Parents who sleep deeply, take certain medications, or have medical conditions may not want their baby to share their bed. Whatever the case, there is no judgment here. Room sharing is still a great option.
What I do/what I did
When my children were babies, they slept together for the first few months. I was used to having my baby close to me while in the womb, so having my baby sleep right next to me in my bed was a natural transition. As my baby started moving more, I started to feel more comfortable with him sleeping on his own.
Of course, sleep patterns vary for each baby and family. Do what works best for you.
What do you think about co-sleeping? Have you practiced bed sharing or room sharing with young children? Please share below!
